What is your go-to option when looking for ways to spice-up your relationship? Booking at Executive, for sure, but then, what else? Sometimes, the best thing to do is not buying costumes or a card-deck with sex games, but looking back at ancient wisdom. Turns out ancient Tantric and Taoist traditions have a lot to say about how to have the best sex of your life, besides being famoust for having sex for hours on end.
What are Tantra and Tao?
Both Tantra and Tao are Hinduist and Chineese philosophical and spiritual traditions that believe a person’s spirituality can not be split from their body and that for their life to be happy, fulfilling, and balanced, sex must play a fundamental role.
Both traditions believe we all have feminine and masculine energies within us and that each one of us should ideally look to have them in balance within us and that, for a couple to work, one person should be the masculine pole and the other the feminine pole (regardless of each person’s genre).
The feminine energy is sensual, magnetic, emotional, intuitive, while the masculine energy is more focused on order, on clarity, reason, and it is electric. The reason why sex is so important for both traditions is that they understand in order to cultivate all of these traits, you need to learn them from someone who already has them. So, for a man to be more in tune with his intuition and know when to sell or buy in the stocks market before anyone else does, he should connect deeply with someone with a sharp intuition. And sex, we all know it, is a great means for connection.
One last point about the characteristics Tantra and Tao have in common: for both systems, female pleasure and eyaculation control are extremely important.
Tantra vs Tao
So, what are the differences between Tantra and Tao, besides one coming from India and the other from China?
Perhaps, the biggest difference is Tantra is more ritualistic and focused on spiritual development. Tantrics care a lot about creating the right environment:. they make light candle, burn incense, massage their partners with sencented oil or use feathers or silk to excite them.
Also, according to Tantra, foreplay is extremely important and it should last about 45 minutes. The point is building excitement and lubritation in the woman, so her body can prepare and desire penetration. This point is important because it extends much more the entire experience and helps both partners feel satisfied by the end of the encounter, specially the woman. The Tantric tradicion thinks semen retention is important not only so the sexual encounter can last longer (actually, neither Tantra or Tao care so much about maintaining the erection) but because every time a man eyaculates, he looses energy. Not surprisingly, men tend to feel exhausted and fall asleep sortly after sex.
In Tantra, the energetic compenetration between the couple ultimately leads to a mystic experience. In Tantra, sex is the ultimate spiritual experience.
On the other side, Tao’s sexual practices were developed in the context of Chineese medicine. So, for them, sex is not so important as a spiritual practice, but as a healthcare issue.
Tao considers men need to feed themselves of the femenin energy through sex in order to be healthy, so masculine and femenine enegy is balanced within both members of the couple. But in Tao, men are seen as more fragile than women, physically less resilient. In Tao, feminine energy is associated with water and masculine energy with fire. Fire can make water evaporate, but it won’t make the ocean or a river evaporate. Water can extinguish any fire. This is also the reason Tao thinks no man should eyaculate every time he has sex (which is different from the orgasm –any man is capable of having orgasms without eyaculating). Since men’s energy is more fragile, they need to keep it inside of themselves as much as they can and even more so in the case of someone who is very old or has any health issue.
Tantric sex is not about b@nging
The Western culture has a vision about “being good in bed” that implies a lot of physical strength, speed, and dominion on the side of the man, which can cause a lot of pressure, anxiety, and reduce sexual pleasure and emotional connection within the couple. If a man feels he always has to penetrate as hard and fast as he can, probably he is going to feel an urge to eyaculate, his effort to delay eyaculation is going to deray him from enjoying the moment, the sexual encounter will tend to be short, he is going to be exhausted by the end of it and, to make things worse, the woman is going to be unsatisfied.
We can all agree that is the description of a terrible experience.
5 Tips From Ancient Wisdom For Mindblowing Sex
- Slow things down
It doesn’t matter if you have been married for several years or if you decide to have sex after the first date, but take the time to hug each other, to caress, to look at each other in the eyes. If you need ideas on what to do instead of going “straight to the point”, take a look at our previous blog posts.
Slowing things down will help build excitement and pleasure between the two of you, which will lead to deeper emotional connection and, ultimately, to more, stronger, and longer orgasms. (Yes, even for men.)
- Make sure your have plenty of time
There is absolutely nothing wrong with having a quickie before going to work, but if you’re looking for mindblowing sex, you can’t rush it. You need foreplay, take the time to make sure you’re both entirely satisfied, and time after sex to recover and talk. Since in these ancient frameworks sex is not only about penetration, it doesn’t end with eyaculation.
- Be 100% present
The best experiences in life (in and out of the bedroom) happen when your mind is in the same place as your body. If your head is spinning so much you can concentrate in just feeling your partner, take your time and stop. It is best to unwind, get your concerns out of your head and chest first, and then, go back to action
- Give yourself permission to penetrate slowly or incompletely to control eyaculation
Men tend to feel a bigger urge to eyaculate when penetrating too fast and/or hard. So do it only when you know that is what you desire most and are about to reach an orgasm. Otherwhise, try slowing down or even stopping for ten to thirty seconds and breathe. Don’t make your mind go away. Some people advice men to think about boring stuff in order to avoid eyaculating, but Tantra and Tao advice against doing that. Instead, if you need to slowdown and cool off a bit, just contemplate your partner. Enjoy the beauty of their skin, their hair, their scent. This way, you’ll be able to maintain the erection and avoid eyaculating for a longer time.
- Mix breath, sound, and movement for maximum excitement
Breath, sound, and movement are the three basic tools in Tantra (which Tantrics use in and out of the bedroom). Try synchonizing your breaths, moan, wisper in each other’s ears, sigh, scream if you feel like it. Take the time to try each position and enjoy it slowly. You don’t need to be a contortionist, you just need to connect with your partner and with your own pleasure, that’s all.
