Breast cancer can have a huge impact on your romantic life and how comfortable you or your partner feels having intimacy. However, the first step towards easing those difficulties is talking about it. So, during Breast Cancer Awareness Month, we decided to share some ideas on the impact of this disease on people’s sex life and what to do about it. 

Why is it important to talk about cancer and intimacy?

While this might not be the first thing people worry about when thinking about breast cancer, the reality is that sexuality and intimacy are basic human needs, and confronting a challenging disease doesn’t eliminate it. Instead, it may transform patients’ relation to their bodies and sexuality in ways that may affect the challenges they are confronting. 

The effects of cancer and cancer treatment vary depending on the specific diagnosis and treatment, but in the case of women with breast cancer, may include: 

• Temporal or permanent physical changes (from hair loss to mastectomies) 
• Vaginal dryness 
• Low body image 
• Reduced sexual desire 
• Depression or anxiety

These symptoms can impact not only the patient’s sex life, but also that of their partners, so both parties must be involved in taking care of the topic. Fortunately, several options are available. 

Talk to your treating physician 

Don’t assume your physician is going to bring up the topic during consultation. If your sexuality is a concern for you, talk about it and ask questions as often as you need to and independently of where you are in your diagnosis or treatment. By consulting with your physician, they can clarify your concerns and help you find ways to manage them. For example, sometimes medication changes can alleviate feelings of depression or anxiety. You might also want to ask about the secondary effects of your treatments. Additionally, they can also refer you to a social worker or sexologist who can solve more specialized concerns. 

If you feel insecure just at the idea of talking about sex with another person, try journaling first or just saying sex-related words out loud, so you can grow into the feeling of it being a normal topic (as it is). 

Expand intimacy 

As we have mentioned several times before, sex and intimacy are not only about penetration. Creating a space with your partner to talk about and explore what still feels good and what doesn’t can be extremely helpful. Perhaps cuddling and talking calmly about what you are going through is what feels best for you, and that is perfect. Ultimately, intimacy is about feeling safe in vulnerability, so expanding your experience of intimacy can help you feel safer with your partner in everyday life. 

If you start working with a sexologist, they might suggest trying new positions or practices that can help. 

Try coconut oil 

One of the potential side effects of cancer treatment is vaginal dryness, similar to that experienced during menopause. Using a vaginal moisturizer can alleviate that discomfort (which can be positive not only during intercourse, but also simply during everyday life) and augment libido. 

Talk about it 

Bottom line is that going through a cancer diagnosis or treatment process doesn’t eliminate other vital aspects of your life. By discussing it with your physician, partner, friends, or a psychologist, you can find ways to process the changes and difficulties you are facing and ultimately ease a very challenging experience.