Intimacy can be terribly intimidating, both for men and women. For example, so often, women feel self-conscious about their bodies, and are expected to be ladies in public contexts, but to be wild in bed. While men are supposed to be strong, potent, are expected to always leave their partner satisfied and to wait until they come before they are allowed to do so. Those expectatives are not only impossible to maintain every day, but they also create massive anxiety, which negatively affects intimacy and sexual performance. As a result, either men start feeling anxious about sex and become more distant, or they resort to options like viagra, which can help, but here are some viagra-free techniques you could try first. 

Ancient Tantra and Tao practices have a lot to say about what to do for great sex, if you want to learn more about that, take a look at this blog article. But, for now, let’s see what they say about keeping it hard. 

• Change the focus from achieving an orgasm to conecting wth your partner
  
  Sexual pleasure is not about agressivity, moving fast, and hard, contrary to what pornografy culture might make us believe. The greatest sexual pleasure is achieved when the couple takes the time to connect, be present, breathe together, touch, smell, lick, hug, kiss. Of course penetration is an importar resource in your “pleasure giving tool kit” but it is not the only one. If you take off the pressure from having to keep an erection in order to have sex, you are more likely to relax and let your body to its thing.
  

• Remember to breathe

Breathing helps your body relax, eases anxiety, contributes to the blood flow necessary to make an erection, helps you connect with your partner… there is no way to overstate how important breaking is. If you keep long breaths, you’ll be telling your body everything is alright, it will anchor you to the purpose of enjoying the moment, rather than looking for an outcome, and everything will flow more easily. 

• Take breaks

There is no reason why you would have to be inside your partner all the time. Take breaks, use that time to kiss, caress, change positions, play a little and blow your partner’s hair. By taking a break you will also increase the desire to be penetrated in your partner, so when it comes it will be even more pleasurable than before. 

Another way to take a break, if you happen to lose your erection is staying soft inside your partner while kissing and hugging each other. Absolutely no one is going to complain if you do that. 

• Change the rhythm, penetrate more slowly or incompletely

You know your body. If you feel you are at risk of ejaculating sooner than you would like to, slow down, move differently, try penetrating just until the first half, come back out, and back in. If your partner is a woman, try alternating between penetrating her and using your penis to caress her vulva and clitoris. 

• Let your partner be on top

If you are laying on your side, and your partner’s leg is on top of you, just grab it by the knee and pull it gently to the sidee and down. This way, your partner will switch to being on top of you without losing the penetration. This position allows for a deep penetration without having to move, so you’ll be able to just contemplate while your partner looks for the depth and moves at the rhythm they prefer. This works even for anal penetration, you can’t go wrong.