Dating With Multiple Partners

Your regular bedroom guest offers you consistent satisfaction and companionship on cold nights, but is the hangout helping or hurting you?

Let’s assess. On a surface level—assuming you’re being safe and taking proper precautions—your bed buddy is the perfect playmate. It’s the ultimate physical relationship: always fun, always fresh and leaves little to no room for any arguments or stresses. If a busy schedule doesn’t give you the time to fully commit to someone, having a hook-up friend is the perfect solution.

But is it a total waste of time? It may be for two reasons. The first depends on your attachment. Is your partner someone you’d emotionally invest in if they gave you the chance or showed you the same level of interest? If so, the arrangement may be hurting your cause, as your bed buddy is only seeing the sexy side of you and probably not considering you as relationship material. Ask yourself: Do I want to take the relationship to the next level?

If the answer is yes, consult our guide on how to turn a fling into the real thing and get to work.

How Having More Than One Partner is Hurting You

The second reason is that you may be hindering yourself from finding someone to spend time with both in and outside of the bedroom. If your bed buddy is the first person you consider when making plans, their presence in your life is probably making you shy away from meeting—and dating—new people. Ask yourself: Would I be willing to break a bedtime date with my late night friend to go for drinks with an attractive new acquaintance?

If the answer is no, you might be getting too comfortable with your bed buddy, which could leave you lonely later. If it’s a yes, keep the relationship casual and break it off as soon as you’ve grown interested in someone new.

Weigh out the pros and cons on your emotional balance beam to determine if you should keep your bed buddy or cancel your next play date.